I’m not even two years in yet and SO not claiming to be an expert at getting everything I need to maintain self as a mama. BUT, I am someone who has worked hard to balance introversion (essentially my need to create and be with myself internally) with family and home life. It’s month 21 and here’s what I’ve got so far:
You just have to. I still fight with myself on this, because as an INFJ my people mean A LOT to me. The relationships I have are never surface level. Even when I talk to strangers, the conversation somehow gets deep. But I literally wont be able to function in my personal life if I don’t have time to process my thousand introverted thoughts per minute.
So a lot of the social gatherings I used to attend may have to go. OK, they have gone. lol Not that I don’t need to get out, because trust me I do. And I still want to be invited, BTW! But I have to put my own well being first so that I can be at my best for my family. Sometimes that means saying “no” and that’s an imperfectly perfect answer.
Wake up at least 15 minutes earlier than the kids.
The mornings I can manage to do this are glorious. Even a short time of quite to start the day can give an introvert a special boost of energy. It’s time to make coffee and read a bible verse. Time to take a shower. Time to journal. Whatever will give you a push to start the day in a focused frame of mind rather than having to think all the thoughts while managing the little lives you grew at the same time.
Have designated YOU days.
On these days, if you don’t want to get dressed that’s OK. If you do want to get dressed and go sit in a corner of a coffee shop with headphones on (that’s OK, too). I usually do a combination of uninterrupted work and sleep. Do whatever will fill your soul and nourish your body. And have someone you trust watch the kids so you’re not worried.
Take long bubble baths at night (with the door closed).
Some weeks I do this every night. There’s just nothing like the sanctuary of a tub. Also get some Epsom Salts and high quality EO’s for detox. Some of my favorites are Lavender, Stress Away and Deep Relief.
Take the kids to a low profile park.
And enjoy the sound of the air mixed with giggles while they play. Getting out of the house doesn’t HAVE to mean socializing or even that you have to enter a high energy situation at all.
I haven’t been the best at this since becoming a mom, but as far as making use of my alone time it is always valuable. I’m so introverted that I sometimes don’t even know what I’m thinking or how I’m feeling until I write it down.
If you’re feeling frustrated or stressed, try taking a few minutes a day to freely write it out. And don’t filter yourself. A wise person once told me, “just write. Whatever comes out on the page is important.”
Hope this helps mama friends! As always, email me if you want to chat or have a topic idea for me! firstname.lastname@example.org