I realized I haven’t directly talked about introversion in awhile. And I know some of you are like mehh who cares… I’m extroverted AF. Well, so is my husband and most of my close friends too.
But I bet more people than you are aware of identify with my side of the fence. And they may not even know it either! Because just like any other group in society, introverts face judgy stereotypes. And, OK some of them are true. 🤷♀️One being that the holidays are sometimes stressful for us because of all the planning, expectations and social commitments.
So I’m calling out the stereotypes! I blogged three false blanket statements I hear all the time and what we want you to know about us instead:
Introverts are shy.
Yeah, no that’s not what it means. While some might be shy, other introverts are actually prolific leaders. Introversion is about how we process information (internally). Everything carries specific meaning to us, and it takes time to understand life’s events and then put them through our brain’s filing system.
This just clicked for my husband one day about a year and a half into marriage. He looked over and realized I wasn’t listening to him because I was thinking too loud.
He said, “You’re thinking aren’t you!?” My response? Of course I was! I literally cannot shut my brain off, so I need alone time to think. But I’m not at all “reserved” or “timid,” which is how we would describe a shy person.
Introverts don’t like people.
While I’ve heard some introverts directly admit that they do not In fact “like people,” this is definitely not the case for all of us or even the majority. Remember those non-stop thoughts? Yeah, I kinda need to recharge from that.
Think about it. When I hang out with you, I will ask for your thoughts on life, considering I am incapable of small talk.
I will then start thinking about your thoughts on life, my thoughts on your thoughts and then just my regular thoughts that aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. Exhausting isn’t it?? Enter alone time and misunderstanding or judgement from the other side.
Introverts have no people skills.
The opposite is usually true, it just may manifest in different ways. I consider myself good one-on-one and OK to reserved in a group setting. This is because I crave the kind of deep connection that my complicated brain can create meaning from.
See, when someone is going through something I actually feel it. I am so sensitive to human emotion that I will start to carry your struggles as my own.
So when I need to be alone, it’s not about being socially awkward (although sometimes I am 🤣) or being away from people I “don’t like.” It’s about being at peace with myself so that I can go back out into the world and rejoin its people as my best self. I’ll feel like a cluttered version of myself unless I get that time.
Not as bad as you thought? Good. Because once we love you, you’re stuck with us for life! But give us some understanding. And that includes introverts giving ourselves grace! Especially around the holidays, OK?